Good lord, what is this world coming to?
According to online celebrity gossip rags I Don't Like You In That Way and TMZ, "producers" (and I use that term very loosely — you'll see why in a minute) are holding auditions for male virgins ages 18-34, to participate in some new reality show called Virgin Territory.

I wish I were making this up, but you can check out their website to find out for yourself. Note the picture of "Executive Producer" Kevin Blatt from the website. Now that's a classy-looking individual if I ever saw one. I'd also like to congratulate their marketing department for failing to use spellcheck before putting up the ad on the website. "Please send your name and contact inormation along with the requested items". You've gotta love it.

Naturally, the grand prize will be that the winner gets to lose his virginity. The kicker is that it's possible that the lucky(?) guy may be able to do so with either legendary porn star Jenna Jameson, or legendary waste of space Paris Hilton. According to TMZ's ever-reliable mystery sources, the two have been contacted to ahem, "participate" in Virgin Territory. Incidentally, "Executive Producer" Blatt is the same guy who made Hilton's infamous sex tape, One Night in Paris, available to the teeming, sweaty masses. The source reveals that Blatt predicts more people will watch Virgin Territory than that night-visioned classic starring the hotel heiress.

So many questions flooded my mind after reading this news. First, let's consider the very notion of the existence of such a show. Has reality television really sunk so low that young males losing their virginity will pass for entertainment? Who in their right mind would actually be pathetic enough to audition? I can only imagine the humiliation factor. Some people think that American Idol is a horrible show for exploiting and embarrassing people who try out. I expect Virgin Territory to bring on the humiliation a hundredfold. I'm sure that contestants will reveal why they've remained untouched all these years, what their sexual fantasies are like, or how often they masturbate per day.

So the winner will end up having sex. Even if it wasn't Jameson or Hilton, it'll still be some woman who'll get paid for having sex. How is this not prostitution? And what insane television network will agree to broadcast this? My impulse is to say FOX, but surely even they have standards, right? Then again, considering this network is responsible for trashy gems such as The Littlest Groom, maybe my impulses are spot-on.

Second, let's talk about the possibility of Jameson or Hilton as the grand prize. Out of the hundreds of publicity whores, this the best they can do? An aging, leathery porn actress who has been around the block many, many, MANY times; and a spoiled, vapid, herpes-riddled skank? I don't know about you all, but if I were a guy, virgin or no, the last people on earth I'd want to be with would be these either of these two women. As a commenter on IDLYITW so eloquently put it, "Having sex with these women would be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway." Eeeeewww.